**First off, I’m still here… I know this is basically how amateur blogging goes; you start out strong, then slowly dwindle down into nothingness, then bounce back, then dwindle… repeat. I’m cool with this… I believe the more I accept it, the more I’ll be inclined to write stuff. Also, my recent “break” in blogging included a giant life change which may or may not have included moving to the Arctic, so I’m just going to chalk it up to that.**
The Apple Watch was released yesterday, or the (i)Watch, which I’m preeettyy sure everyone is going to call it regardless of what Apple says…
… But on the other hand, people tend to do exactly what Apple says. Personally, I think Apple should open a new store in one of the most remote regions of the world, release a one time product that will only be released at this store, and see how many people convince themselves that they’re in shape enough to travel to this store, and subsequently take selfies of themselves dying in an attempt to get this product. I know, that was a run-on sentence, but sometimes the best thoughts are.
Now, I’m sure there are several benefits to this product, right? Definitely not anything I’d be able to think of in time for this post, but the next post, for sure… Maybe the one after that. Going through the features of the watch once it was released, it basically had all the fun stuff usually associated with Apple products, but there are some features that just give that inkling feeling that Apple products just aren’t going to work out in the future. For example, texting on this thing is obviously not going to be the most practical, being that it has a tiny screen and most of us have relatively fat fingers… with remnant grease on them, most of the time. So instead, they develop a “new and innovative” way of communicating, where you make little swirleys and swiggly lines toooo…. communicate? To quote off of Apple’s site:
“You don’t even have to use words. The Digital Touch features on Apple Watch give you fun, spontaneous ways to connect with other Apple Watch wearers, wrist to wrist.”
The first sentence bothers me… “You don’t even have to use words”. Unfortunately, unless you’re part of a Grade 8 gigglefest of girls, words are probably a little more handy than squiggly lines, ultimately continuing the tradition of Grade 8 boys not knowing what f*#% the girls are talking about. No one is planning a lunch date or meeting with squiggles. **Sidenote: I guarantee you it took probably 2.43 minutes from the time of purchase of the very first Apple Watch, for someone to squiggle a penis**.
Alright, it’s time I got the point of this post. These new features are unforunately not a sign of innovation, they’re a sign of desperation. While smartphones are capable of doing many many many things, and in some people’s eyes, they should be able of doing everything, everywhere, at all times, I believe people are going to come to the realization that there are only so many things that are practical on a smartphone. And they’ve pretty well all been created. Apple has reached the point (probably awhile ago) where features are simply created so their market shares stay high, which can keep a company afloat for a little while even. At some point, however, they’re going to release a product with a feature that’s going to be the clincher… It’s going to “click” in people, as they say “I don’t get it”. Will it be with the Apple Watch after we give it a couple days of people using it? We’ll see… If not, we can only hope it’s with the next product launch, I’m assuming will be exactly one year from now…
… because innovation happens like clockwork.